What’s balance for a high-performer?

This is an e-mail exchange I recently had with a business colleague who had a time-consuming request for me:

• TC: “I’m happy to do it. Still working until 11 p.m. most nights, though. Give me a few days, please.”
• Colleague: “What do you do when you’re coaching people who work until 11 p.m. most evenings? Would you tell them they need a little more balance in their lives? LOL.”
• TC: “I tell them one of two things: (1) Get a life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (just kidding) or (2)This is a great topic that I’ll write about in my blog.

So here it is: Balance is different for high performers, people who are elite in their fields, than it is for average people.

People who are great at what they do love what they do (it’s often both their work and a hobby), are more focused and generally work harder and longer.

Someone once asked a high-performance colleague of mine, who has mentally trained many of the best professional golfers in the world, “How do the best PGA golfers practice? Do they focus on quantity or quality of practice?” He answered, “Both.” To be great, people must put in more time. So how can they have a balanced life?

I’m not going to answer the question, because I think it’s the wrong question. I don’t care an iota if my life is balanced. I do care, however, about being happy and fulfilled.

Instead of balance, focus on happiness for yourself and those you love. Consider asking the most important people in your life (or at least one or two of the most important people) the questions below, and then negotiate win/win solutions and act on them.
1. How do they feel about their relationship with you?
2. What’s the one thing you’re doing now that they’d most like you to continue?
3. What one thing would most improve the relationship between the two of you?

Asking these questions takes courage. High performers act with courage, and they listen to and act on the feedback they receive.

Balance is irrelevant.
Focus on living a happy and fulfilling life.

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