Replace negative thoughts – Don Schula got it right.

Replace the negative thought “I want to be liked” with “I want to be respected.” That would be the leadership advice from Don Shula, the Hall of Fame football coach of the Miami Dolphins — and the only professional football coach to coach a professional football team to an undefeated season.

Schula had a conversation with a reporter that went something like this:

Reporter: “I hear that you’re a ‘players’ coach.’” (Meaning he was well-liked by his players)

Coach Shula: “I couldn’t care less if my players like me; I want their respect, not their friendship.”

When is respect more important than being liked? It’s more important when …

Gain control of automatic negative thoughts. The one emotion you should never think or express…

– By TC North, Ph.D.

In the last post, I shared one of my favorite ways to purge daily negative thoughts and feelings — by using verbal vomit. This is great technique to gain control of automatic negative thoughts you have after a bunch of frustration. There is one negative thought/emotion that you should never express, because doing so makes it stronger and it’s dangerous. What do you think it is …

The value of verbal vomit to stop negativity and automatic negative thoughts

– By TC North, Ph.D.

Everyone gets disappointed, frustrated, angry and fearful at times. When you get caught in this negativity, or in automatic negative thoughts, purge them quickly to make room for positive thoughts.

How? Do the verbal vomit. Verbal vomit helps eliminate your negative thoughts about daily stressors such as losing a big sale, getting caught in traffic, being late to an important appointment, catching your 17-year-old climbing out the window in the middle of the night or dealing with your dog who got a stomach bug and let loose from both ends. The goal of verbal vomit is to speak your negativity so you’re getting it out of yourself and not affecting others.

Here are the rules:

What’s your one thing? High-performance entrepreneurs, teams and high performance organizations must know and focus on this one thing!

– By TC North, Ph.D.

Executive and sales teams I’ve worked with regularly give one another the finger and greatly appreciate the gesture! Where did this use of the finger originate? It comes from the 1991 movie “City Slickers,” an entertaining flick that combined philosophy and comedy (a “philomedy”)! In the movie, Mitch, played by Billy Crystal, and two of his buddies head off to New Mexico to “find themselves.” They take on the roles of cowboys and participate in a cattle drive headed by Curly, played by Jack Palance, a crusty but wise, tough-as-nails trail boss. After a rough beginning to their relationship, Mitch and Curly engage in a conversation that went like this:

What’s different in the motivation of high-performers in high-performance cultures and organizations? It’s what drives the motivation of high-performance!

– By TC North, Ph.D.

One of the big differences is between high – performers and average performers is what drives their motivation. This is true in business as well as in sports.

Generally, 80% -100% of high – performers’ motivation is driven by their focus on what they want to achieve, not what they fear, or want to avoid. Average performers motivation is the result of …